The visit to the cells

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t

F-icWk. K 541

Fiedler & f>> /

PRESENTED TO THE LIBRARY

BY

PROFESSOR H. G. FIEDLER

The

VISIT TO THE CELLS.

A humorous tale
by

Ernst Eckstein,

With six original illustrations by Q. Sundblad.

Translated from the fifteenth German edition

by

Sophie F. J. Veitch.

London Leipzig

Provost & Co., Publishers Joh. Priedr. Hartknoch

36. Henrietta Str., Co?. Gard. 17. Turnerstrasse

1876

The Visit to the Cells •*.

lhe clock struck two. The Principal of
the Grammer-School, Dr. Samuel Heinzerling,
entered the school- court with all his own
peculiar dignity, and slowly ascended the
stairs.

Upon the steps he met the Beadle of the

* The Latin word ^Career" here translated
,Cells" means, as used in Germany, literally

n

a

school prison 66 . The English reader must remember,
that the German school system is very different from
our own. Under that system a refractory pupil may
be imprisoned for some days, in very grave cases
even for weeks, by order of the head master, during
which time his parents, or other friends, have to
see that he is supplied with food.

The Visit to the Cells.

School, who had already rung the bell, and
was now about to betake himself to his own
private domains, where there was a strange
medley of domestic work to be got through.

„Nothaing haappened, Quadlaar?" asked
the Principal, acknowledging the humble
salutation of his vassal with a lordly bend
of his head.

„No, Sir, nothing."

„Haas the libraarian not decaided yaet
about the books in quaestion?"

„No, Sir."

„Good. Thaen go ovaer again to daay,
and ainquire how thais matter staands. One
thaing more. Praamaner* Rompf haas baeen
absaent a whole daay. Gall at hais raesi-
daence, and faind out aif hae is really aill;
I aalmost doubt...."

* ^Primaner" i. e. boy in the upper class.

The Visit to the Cells.

„I beg your pardon, Sir, but Rumpf is
here. I saw him crossing the court."
„Aah. So moch the baetter."
The courteous reader must pardon the

m

peculiar orthography with which we strive
to pen on paper the sayings of the Lord of
the Grammar school. Dr. Samuel Heinzer-
ling's speech was certainly not quite so ab-
normal as would appear from our method
of writing it; but the written characters of
our language fail to provide us with any
means of conveying more accurately the
specific Heinzerling twang. A hundred times
have I, the humble narrator, listened in silent
reverence to the diction of the Principal, and,
so to speak, exalted the Heinzerling vocalism
to the throne of my most loving study. But
so long as our wretched alphabet possesses
no signs to depict hybrid sounds between
a and e, between i and a, between o and u;

„Aah. So moch the baetler."

The Visit to the Cells.

so long must the historian who occupies
himself with Dr. Samuel Heinzerling be
content to accept the orthography which we
have adopted.

The Principal said then, „Aah, so moch
the baetter," and stalked through the long
corridor to the door of his class room.

Samuel had arrived on this day unusually
early. As a rule he held firmly to the theory
of Academic quarters. But, on this occasion,
a domestic dispute, over which, from easily
understood motives of delicacy, we draw the
veil of secrecy, had driven him forth, before
the time, from the comfortable armchair in
which he was wont to sip his afternoon coffee.
Only thus is the fact explicable that he arrived
before his class had thought of setting their
usual watch, after the manner of the chamois.

The Principal heard, even from the cor-
ridor, the sound of a heathenish din. Forty

8

The Visit to the Cells*

yelling throats shrieked „ Bravo!" and „Da
Capo!"

Samuel wrinkled his brow.

Now the roar of the chorus ceased, and
a clear shrill voice began, with comical
pathos :

„Aah, wae waill for thais taime laet
ait paass. You haave failed again to

praepare properly, Heppenheimer. Ai aam

*

vaery moch daissaatisfaied waith you! Sait
down!"

Thundering applause.

By all the Gods of Greece, it was Him-
self! his very living self! a little caricatured,
perhaps — but still, so strikingly like, that
only a most practised ear could have detected
the difference! . Never verily — in spite of
Holy Writ — had .such blasphemy been per-
petrated under the sun! A scholar dared,

The Visit to the Cells.

from the sacred heights of his own pro-
fessorial chair, to turn him into ridicule!
Him, the compiler of „The Latin Grammer
for the use of schools, with special reference
to the higher classes". Him, the renowned
pedagogue; aesthetical student; and disciple
of Kant! Proh pudor! Honos sit aurihusl
This was a prauk which could only have
matured itself in the soul of that arch rascal
William Rumpf!

„Waill you go on constroing, Mihicke,"
continued the voice of the rebellious scholar.
„What; you aare onwaell? Haevens! whaen
young people saay to mae, at thaeir taime,
thaat thaey aare onwaell, ait haas a vaery
baad appaeraance. Enebel, wraite ain the
daay book: 'Mftricke, sommoned to traanslate,
was onwaell'. a

No longer could the Principal master his
indignation. With an angry jerk he threw

(pKrebel, wraite ain the daay book: 'Moricke, sommoned to
traan slate, was onwaell'."

The Visit to the Cells. 1 1

open the door, and appeared among his
startled pupils, like a lion among a herd of
gazelles.

He had not been deceived. — It was
indeed William Rumpf, the greatest n'er do
well in the class, who thus wantonly blas-
phemed its majesty. Only four weeks since
had this youngster first been numbered among
Samuel Heinzerling's scholars; and already
had he borne away the crown of knavery
from all the rest, even from Primus to Ultimus.
There, now, a very parricide, he stood at
the lectern — a huge pair of paper spectacles
on his nose — a book in his left hand —
the traditional lead pencil in his right — and
was about to pour forth a fresh torrent of
blasphemy, when the deeply injured Principal
appeared upon the threshold.

„Rompf, tf said Samuel, with composure,
„ Ai saentence you to two daays ain the caells.

12

The Visit to the Cells.

Knebel, wraite ain the daay book — 'Rompf,
saentenced to two daays ain the caells, for
chaildish onbaecoming condoct*. Heppen-
heimer, call the Beadle!"

„But, Sir!" stammered Rumpf, stuffing
the paper spectacles into his pocket, as he
returned to his seat.

„No objaectaing!"

„But I only wanted, I thought..-."

„Bae quaiet, Ai taell you!"

„ But please, Sir, let me .... "

„ Knebel, wraite — 'Bompf sentenced,
for raefractory condoct, to another daay's
confainment' — Ai am taired of faighting
waith you for aever. Shaame opon you!
Ai saay — Shaame opon you!"

n 'Audiatur et altera pars', Sir. Hav'nt
you always instilled that lesson into us?"

„Good. You shaall not saay that Ai aam

The Visit to the Cells. 13

II .1 IL . I _ . * ■ I _

ontrue to mai prainciples. What have you
to saay am aexcuse for yoursaelf?"

„Only to assure you, Sir, I did'nt mean
anything impertinent. I only wanted to
practise mimicing a little. "

„Praactise your Laatin stayle, and your
Graeek grammar."

„So I do, Sir. But besides knowledge
art has also it's claims."

„Thaat ain all mai laife Ai naever de-

naied. But do you thaink. to paass off your

folly for aart? At any raate it ais a vaery
useless aart."

n O please, Sir!"

„Bae quaet! Aif you go on ain thais
waay, sooner or later you'll come to graeif.
K nip eke 7 go and saee what Heppenheimer
and the Beadle are doing."

„Just for this once, Sir," whispered Rumpf

14

The Visit to the Cells.

in an insinuating tone. Could'nt you let me
off punishment, just for this once."

„Caertainly not. You waill go to the
caells. Nowthais ainterroption most'nt ainter-
faere waith our work. Hutzler, baegin rae-
caiting. "

„I was not present, at the last construing,
sir. Here's my certificate."

„Oh! You waere saick again. Do you
know, Hutzler, you are oftener aill thaan
waill. "

„ Unfortunately, sir. My delicate con-
stitution . . . . "

„ Daelicate? You daelicate? Ai taell
you what, Hutzler, Ai waish aevery one
onder the son waas aas daelicate aas you
aare. Laazy, you are, bot not daelicate."

„Lazy? But I can't do anything during
a feverish attack."

„I know thaat! You haave baeen draink-

The Visit to the Cells.

15

ing too moch baeer again. Go on constroing,
Gildemeister. "

„ Absent!" shouted six voices together.

Samuel peevishly shook his head.

„Does aany one know whay Gildemeister
ais aabsaent?"

jjHe's got a cold!" replied one of the six.

„Cold! Whaen I was hais age I naever
had a cold. Bot whaere are Knipcke and
Heppenheimer? Schwarz, go out and saee.
Bot come baack at once!"

Schwarz went out, and after ten minutes
came back with the Beadle, and his two
companions.

„Mr. Quaddler was busy papering, Sir,"
said Heppenheimer, in a respectful tone.
„He had first to dress himself a little."

„Aindeed! and you raequaire half an hour
for thaat? Quaddlaar, I consaider thaat you are
baecomaing naegligaent about your duties."

16 The Visit to the Cells.

„I humbly beg your pardon, Sir. But
the young gentlemen only came to my door
two minutes ago."

„Oh!" cried the three messengers simul-
taneously.

„Waell, I waill not'examaine forther into
that. Haere! take Bompf, and put haim in
the caells. Kompf, you waill condoct your-
self propaerly, and not be caalling for the
Beadle aevery momaent, as haappened laast
waeek. Quaddlaar, you waill on no account
allow Bompf to enter the antiroom. If he
baecomes bad again, he caan open the
window. It, will be baest thaat you pot
aevery thaing naecessary ain the caell, and
Jaet the door be locked once for all. Fraiday
aevening he waill come down again."

„Very well, Sir!"

„You caan gaet one of your fraiends to
saee about your food. Do you onderstaand?"

The Visit to the Cells.

17

Rurapf nodded.

„Vaery waell! Now off waith you!"

„Are you really in earnest, Sir, then: for
an artistic performance "

Samuel Heinzerling smiled with the manly
dignity of a pedagogue.

„You are a droll faellow, ain spaite of
your bad behaevour. Bot Ai cannot haelp
you. So long as you do not show mae how
your praetaended artistic paerformance ais
usefol and advantageous — altogether apaart
from your onsaeemly use of ait — so long
most you staand thae ainaevetable con-

i

sequaences. Now taake yoursaelf off!"
William Rumpf bit his lip, turned short

round, and disappeared with Quaddler in the

gloom of the corridor.

„What have you really been doing of,

Mr. Rumpf?" asked the Beadle, as they

sacended the stairs.

2

18

The Visit to the Cells.

„ Nothing. u

„Oh, but I beg your pardon, you must
have been doing something."

„IVe only done what the Principal does
constantly. u

w What's that?"

„Now, just listen attentively — Do you
saee, may daear Quaddlaar, Rompf is a good
for nothaing, and daesaerves exaemplary
chaastaisement."

„Good gracious me!" stammered the
Beadle, striking both hands together over
his head. „No! Who could have believed
such a thing could be? . . But really, this
is dreadful, Mr. Rumpf. By all that's sacred*
if I had'nt seen you before me, with my
own eyes, I'd have sworn it was the wor-
shipful Principal's own voice I heard ! At all
costs I can't but admit that! You'll make
quite a figure in the world, Sir. Do you

The Visit to the Cells.

19

know that once, when I was over in Lotz's
taproom, there was a conjurer there who
could imitate anything you like, birds chir-
ping, and horses neighing; dogs barking,
and wedding preachings. But nothing that
he did ever surprised me anything like you've
done!"

„I belaeive it, I belaeive it, daear
Quaddlaar!" replied Rumpf, still imitating
the Principal.

„And you've actually done this before
his face?! Now really — no offence Mr.
Eumpf, but all in right time. That was'nt
at all fitting, and the Principal had very
good reason to be extremely angry."

„Do you raeally maean it?"

„I must beg you at once to leave off
this joking. It does'nt at all fit with the
gravity of my office. Will you please to
walk in here!"

20 The Visit to the Cells.

„ Waith plaeasure. . . ! "

„Mr. Rumpf, I shall tell the Principal
that he has not ordered you a heavy enough
punishment."

„What haave you to do waith may
ponishmaent, you raascally old Quaddlaar?"

„With your punishment? Nothing. But
I have a great deal to do with it if you
persist in mocking the Principal in this
disrespectful way."

„Tve a raight to do as I laike."

„No, you have not."

„ But I haave, Quaddlaar. I caan spaeak
as it plaeases mae; and anyone who does'nt
laike it caan taake haimself off, or stop
hais eaars."

„Just you wait!"

„What for?"

„I shall report you to the Principal."

„Give him my kindest love."

The Visit to the Cells.

21

„ You'll be astonished."

Quaddler turned the key, and shambled
slowly down the stairs.

In the first class room, mean while,
Sophocles was diligently construed. Heppen-
heimer rendered literally the lamentations
of the unfortunate Philoctetes, at the great
jubilee of his insolent kinsmen:

„Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!"

The Principal interrupted him.

„Say <Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!' As an
ainterjaection of greif, 'Ai' is quaite on-
grammaticaal."

„I thought *Owf expressed only bodily
anguish", remarked Heppenheimer.

„Indaeed! And do you soppose, Philoc-
tetes soffored only in maind? You appear
to mae not to have gaiyen soffaicient
attaention to the course of the traagedy."

22 The Visit to the Cells.

„ There's some one knocking, Sir", said
Knebel.

„Look who it is, Knipcke."

Knipcke opened the door.

„What? You, Quaddlaar. Whay do you
daistorb os again? Spaeak quaickly!"

„Beg pardon, Sir. I only wish to be
allowed to say that Primaner Rumpf will
persist in speaking in the way you've
punished him for doing. "

„What? He caarries on the comedy?
Vaery waill, I shall know what course to
taake. Knebel, wraite down — bot no,
rather laeave it. That waill do, Quaddlaar.
Go oh, Heppenheimer. Thos, 'Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow!' not 'Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!' What
follows, you caan traanslate 'Ah ! ye etaernal
Gods!' or 'Allmaighty HeaavensM"

Heppenheimer accomplished his task to
the Principal's passable „ satisfaction". After

The Visit to the Cells.

23

him, Schwarz translated „onsofficiently".
Then Quaddler's bell rang. The compiler
of the Latin Grammar for the use of
schools declared the lecture ended. At
the door appeared Dr. Klufenbrecher, the
mathematical master, who from three to
four had to initiate the class into the
mysteries of analytical geometry. Condes-
cendingly, yet with a certain amount of
human kindliness , Samuel Heinzerling gave
his fat dimpled right hand to his „estaemed
colleague", and then vanished into the direc-
torial chamber, where he sank down thought-
fully in his official chair.

Quaddler meantime went on with his
work, to employ the hour of leisure per-
taining to him. Vigourously he dipped his
brush in the paste pot, and besmeared one
sheet of paper after another with odoriferous
adhesive matter.

24

The Visit to the Cells.

William Rumpf however sat yawning on
the bench, and vowing in his self communings
that bitterly should the whole grammar school
rue this unjustifiable curtailment of his freedom.

Dr. Samuel Heinzerling passed his fingers
through his hair, pushed back his big spectacles,
with their round glasses, and shook his pro-
fessorial head two, three, four times.

„A maiserable youth, thais Rompf tf , he
murmured to himself. But I aalmost belaeive,
more maay be done waith haim by kaindness,
than by force and sevaerity. I waill maake
one more earnaest appaeal to hais con-
scaeince! It is a pity for him: he ais one of
my most gaifted scholars!"

He rang the bell.

In three minutes Annie, Quaddler's sixteen
year old daughter, appeared. She was just
on the point of going out, as was evident
from the coquettish little hat and feather

The Visit to the Cells.

25

set charmingly upon her dark locks, and
the gay shawl round her shoulders.

„Do you want anything, Sir?" she asked,
with a graceful obeisance.

„ Where is your father? " whispered Samuel,
with, for him, an extraordinarily pure pronun-
ciation of the vowels.

„He is pasting, Sir. Do you require
anything?"

„Oh! He ais paisting. No. I waill not
daistorb haim ain hais paisting. Ait ais
nothaing partaicular, Annie. Ais the kaey
of the caell ain the lock?"

„I will ask directly, Sir."

The maiden tripped like a roe down the
stairs, and in a few seconds appeared again
upon the threshold.

,, Yes, Sir, the keys are there: both the
key of the antiroom, and of the cell. Do
your want anything else, Sir?"

26

The Visit to the Cells.

„No, I thaank you."

Annie disappeared. Samuel looked smi-
lingly after her.

„A charming child!" he murmured to
himself. „Ai would gaive a graeat deal aif
mai Winifred possessed only haalf as moch
'savoir vaivre — to saay not a word of
Jessie. — Thais Quaddlaar ais a paganus,
a homo incultus, and, notwaithstanding, he
onderstaands how to rear op a graace: whailst
Ai, the haighly coltivaited connoisseur of
claasaical antaiquity — Ai, the homo cot
nail homani alienom aist, aam onable to pro-
duce a postaerity worthy of mai classical
staanding. u

He slowly stroked once more his smoothly
shaven chin, then took his hat from the table,
and climbed the stairs to the cells.

William Rumpf was mightily astonished
to hear, after only so short a captivity, the

The Visit to the Cells. 27

door turn upon its hinges. His amazement
reached its height when he recognised in
the visitor the Principal, Samuel Heinzerling.

„Waill, Rompf?" said the honourable
pedagogue.

„What do you want, Sir?" asked the
pupil, in a tone of resolute obduracy.

„I waish once more to ascaertain if you
are paenitaent, and percaeive thaat soch
puerilities are altogaether contrary to the
traditions of the school, and the spairit pre-
vailing waithin thaese waalls...."

„Tm not conscious...."

„What Eompf? You are staill obstinaite?
Now jost thaink. What would you saay aif
you waere ain mai plaace. Would you not
handle thais aillcondocted ainsolent Rompf
ain a vaery daifferent faishion? Eh?"

„But, Sir...."

„ Thais ais a fraivolity which one does

28

The Visit to the Cells.

not expect from a young maan of good
famaily. Ai taell you what, at the naext
stopaid traick Til aexpel you! a

„Expel....? a

„Yaes, Eompf! Aexpel! Thaerefore re-
paent, and gaive op thais scaandalous be-
haeviour, whaich in troth does you no craedit.
I repaet it. Pot yourself ain mai place u

William Rumpf let his head sink thought-
fully upon his breast. The threatened ex-
pulsion was but a question of time; he felt
it; — all in a moment a diabolical idea
darted through his brain.

„ If I am to be turned out," he said to
himself, „it shall at least be done with a
flourish of trumpets."

He smiled, as the wicked hero of a sen-
sation novel is wont to smile over some
successful villainy, and said in a tone of
dawning contrition —

The Visit to the Cells.

29

„Do you mean, Sir, that I should set.
myself in your place?"

Yaes, Rompf. I waish thaat!"

„Good. If that is all you desire, I wish
you all satisfaction ! a

And therewith he shot through the door,
turned the key, and left the unfortunate
Principal to his unexpected calamity.

„ Rompf! What do you mean! Ai aexpel
you now, thais ainstant. Waill you opaen
the door diraectly? Diraectly, Ai saay!"

„Ai gaive you hearewaith two hour aim-
praisonment, u replied Rumpf, with dignity.
„You haave yoursaelf said thaat Ai should
set maisaelf ain your plaace."

„ Rompf! You shall repent of this! you
shall repent, I taell you! Open the door! I
command you! a

„You have nothaing more to do waith
commandaing! Ai am now the Praincipal!

„Rompf! You shall repent of this! you shall repent, I tad I youl
Open the door! I command youl"

The Visit to the Cells.

31

You are the Praemaner Rompf! Bae quaiet!
Ai waill stand no contradaicting!"

„Dear Rompf! Ai waill forgaive you
for thais taime. Behaeve handsomely, I beg.
You shall come off waith laight ponaishment.
You shall not bae aexpelled. I promaise
you! Do you hear?

But the „ dear Rompf" did not hear. He
had crept stealthily through the antiroom,
and was now rapidly continuing his triumphant
escape down the stairs.

As he passed the Beadle's door, a brilliant
idea seized him.

He applied his eye to the key hole.
Quaddler was at that moment on the ladder,
with his back turned to the door, and was
striving to fix upon the wall a thickly bes-
meared strip of paper. William Rumpf opened
the door a little way, and with the most

32

The Visit to the Cells.

perfect Heinzerling accent which he could
command called into the room.

„Ai am going now, Quaddlaar. Look
after Rompf. The faellow behaaves laike
a lonatic. Hae dares staill to carry on
hais aimpaertinent joking. Staay quaietly
now on your laddar. Ai only waished to
taell you on no account to open the door
for haim. The faellow would bae quaite
capable of knocking you over, and coolly
making hais escaape. Do you haear
Quaddlaar?"

„Very well, Sir, certainly. You'll kindly
excuse my being up. . ."

„ Staay quaietly whaere you are, and
finaishyour paisting. Adieu!"

„ Servant, Sir."

William Eumpf mounted the stairs once
more, and entered the region of the cells.

The Visit to the Cells. 33

Samuel Heinzerling raged furiously. He
appeared to have just discovered the bell,
for at the moment when Eumpf concealed
himself behind a huge clothes chest, belong-
ing to the Beadle's family, there broke forth
a frantic clanging, shrill and piercing as the
shrieks of infuriated wood and water fowl.

„Haelp! u roared the school master.
„Quaddlaar, Ai waill torn you out of office
and laivelihood, aif you do not come haere
diraectly ! Haelp ! Faire ! Faire ! Morder !
Violaence! Haelp!"

The Beadle, reminded of his vocation by
the continued pealing, abandoned his private,
occupations, and appeared in the antiroom
of the prison. The malicious Primaner kept
himself closely hidden. Samuel Heinzerling
had sat himself down exhausted on the
bench. His chest heaved ; his nostrils worked
like a pair of energetic bellows.

34

The Visit to the Cells.

„Mr. Rumpf", said Quaddler, with a
warning tap at the door. „It will all be
noted down!"

„ Heaven be praised, Quaddlaar, thaat
you are thaere. Opaen the door for mae.
That maiserable raascal haas locked mae
ain. . . Ait ais aatrocious!"

„I tell you what, Mr. Rumpf. This
joking is being carried a deal too far! And
I shall particularly remark that you call the
Principal a miserable rascal!"

^Bot Quaddlaar, are you craazy?" vehe-
mently retorted Samuel, in a tone of the
greatest indignation. „The Daevil! I taell
you that Rompf, the wraetched scamp, locked
mae ain whaen I came to vaisit haim, and
make an appaeal to hais conscience. Don't
stand quaestioning thaere. Opaen the door ! "

„You must take me for a great fool,
Mr. Rumpf. The Principal has only this

The Visit to the Cells.

35

moment spoken to me, and strictly forbidden
me, on any account whatever, to let you
out. And now behave yourself quietly, and
leave off ringing, or I shall unhang the bell. u

„Quaddlaar, Ai'll have you saent to the
house of corraection for onlawful detaention."

„Just listen a moment. Do you know,
if I may venture to say so, this everlasting
imitating of the Principal is very childish.
No offence in my telling you so. It is true,
the Principal does speak a little through
his nose, but such a stupid jingle as you've
hashed up is a very long way from being
like the Principal. And now, for the last
time, I tell you, be quiet, and conduct
yourself in a proper manner."

„Bot I taell you again, on mai sacraed
honour, that baase shameless faellow torned
the kaey behaind mae before I had an
aidea what he intaended. Quaddlaar! Aidiot!

3

„But such a stupid jingle as you've hashed up is a very long
way from being like the Principal."

The Visit to the Cells.

37

Ass! Tou most raecognaize mae. Whaere
are your ears?"

„What? You call me an ass — an idiot?
Indeed ! I tell you what. It's very question-
able which of us two is the greatest idiot
and ass. Upon my word! A raw youth to
call an elderly respectable man an ass! —
indeed! — an ass!... Do you understand
me ? But just you wait ! u

„An ass you are, and an ox to boot!"
groaned Heinzerling despairingly. „ Waill
you thaen not open the door? a

„I shall not think of such a thing. u

„ Vaery waell! vaery waell!" sighed the
schoolmaster, with a failing voice. „ Vaery
waell! Ai waill remain ain the caell! Do
you hear, Quaddlaar? Ai waill remain ain
the caell!"

„ I shall be very glad if you come to
your right senses. And now leave me in

38

The Visit to the Cells.

peace. I have more to do than attend to
your pranks."

„Quaddlaar", cried Samuel, with renewed
vehemence. „Ai waill sait quaiet hour by
hour! Do you onderstand? Hour by hour!
Like an aill behaved youth I waill endure
thais outragious daisgrace! Do you hear,
Quaddlaar?"

„I am going now. Employ yourself some
way!"

„Holy Haeavens, mai reason waill gaive
way! Am I raeally gone maad thaen!
Faellow, look through the kaey hole! Thaen
you waill see ..."

„Oh yes, so that you may blow into my
eye, as you did the other day! Not if I
know it!"

„ Go to the daevil, thaen. The Gods
thaemsaelves would faight in vain waith a

The Visit to the Cells.

39

blockhead ! Bot whaen I come out of haere !
Whaen I come out of haere! Ah! Til laet
you know! You've baeen Beadle a long
whaile!"

Quaddler, mightily indignant, shuffled down
stairs again. Verily, this Bumpf was the
incarnation of impertinence. Ass, had he
called him?! Thunder and Lightning! Never
had such a thing happened since Dame Kathe-
rine Quaddler had departed to the regions of
the blest!

Oh yes! all very well, Mr. Bumpf!

Samuel Heinzerling, mean while, paced
the cell with huge strides. His whole appea-
rance was that of an African lion which men,
for love of gain, have confined in a cage,
without being able to quell the proud over-
flowing strength of his noble nature. His
hands behind him; his head with its grey

mane mournfully bent down upon his right
shoulder; his lips firmly compressed — so
he strode up and down — up and down —
deadly sinister purposes against all his fellow
creatures seething in his thoughts.

But suddenly a broad beaming smile played
over his features.

„Raeally, after all, ait ais comical", he
murmured to himself. n Vaerily, aif Ai waere
not thos paersonally maixed op in the maatter,
Ai should thaink ait vaery amusaing."

He stood still.

„Waill ait raedound to mai discraedit, to
have baeen thos ovaerraeached? Consaider,
Samoael! Daid not a waell known Kaing
waith hais own haand hold thae laddar for
thae thaeif who wanted to steal hais watch?
Haas not Praince Baismark, haimsaelf, baeen
shut up bai an aintriguing, malaicious hand?

The Visit to the Cells.

41

Hondraeds of other caases maight be ad-
duced ! And yaet, the world's haistory traeats
thaat Kaing waith respaect and Praince
Baismark ais haeld to be the; graeatest
daeplomataist ain Europe. No, no, Samoael!
Thai daignity as schoolmaaster as caitizen,
as coltivaited thainker waill not, softer ain
the laeast, from thais paainful sitoaation.
Caalm thaiself, Samoael . ."

He continued his promenade in a calmer
frame of mind. But soon he broke forth
anew.

„Bot mai claass!" he stammered, turning
pale. „Aif mai claass hear thaat Ai have
sat ain thae caells! Ainsopportable thought!
Mai authoraity would bae gone for aever!
And thaey waill hear of ait! Thaey most
hear of ait! Ai aam for aever daiscraedited!
yae Gods, whaerefore haave yae done
thais to mae!"

42

The Visit to the Cells.

„Mr. Principal", whispered a well known
voice at the cell door. „You are not dis-
credited yet, by a long way. Your, authority
is still in full force ..."

„ Rompf ! " stammered Samuel, „ you shaame-
less good for nothaing scamp. Opaen thae
doorainstantly! Consaeder yoursaelf moraally
thrashed! Baegard yoursaelf as aexpelled
thraee taimes over!"

„But Sir, I have come to rescue you.
Don't insult me!"

„To raescue? Ainsolence! Opaen thae
door diraectly, or . . ."

„Will you listen to me quietly, Sir. I
assure you, all shall be arranged."

Samue reflected.

„Good", he said, at last. „Ai waill con-
descaend. Speak ..."

The Visit to the Cells.

43

„You see, I only wished to show you that
my art is not so entirely without practical
significance. Pardon me if, in consequence,
I have been obliged apparently to do violence
to the profound respect and veneration which
I am accustomed joyfully to render to you,
with my whole heart."

„You are a knaave, Rompf!"

„ Listen, Sir. How would it be if you
were to remit my punishment; take back the
threat of expulsion; and allow me to observe
the strictest secrecy over all that has hap-
pened . . .?"

„Aimpossible! . . . Your ponishmaent
most be caarried out ..."

„A11 right! Then good-bye, sir. Don't
ring too much!"

„ Rompf! Do you hear! Laisten a moment. . .
Rompf!"

44

The Visit to the Cells.

„Well . . .!"

„You are, ain maany raespaects, a vaery
oncommon faellow, Rompf ; and for once, Ai
waill maake an excaeption. Opaen the door,
now!

„You remit my punishment? u

«Yes. a

„Will you expel me? a

„No, In the daevils name."

„You give me your paternal word, Sir!"
„Rompf! how dare you! . . ."
„Your paternal word, Sir!"
„Good. You have it!"

„ Jupiter Ultor is witness."

„What?"

„I call the Gods to witness."

„Yoli give me your paternal word, Sir!

46

The Visit to the Cells.

„Opaen the door!"

^Presently, Sir. You are quite certain
you will not remember this against me
afterwards?"

„No, no, no! Waill you laet mae out
at once?"

„You grant me full absolution?"

„Yaes. On condition thaat you taell no
one how haeavily you haave traansgraessed.
Aas Ai have said, already, Ai consaider you
an oncommon faellow, Kompf . . ."

,,1'm much obliged for your good opinion,
Sir. I give you my word of honour that so
long as you are Principal of the Grammer
school, and Ordinary of the upper class, not
a syllable of all this shall pass my lips."

And with the words he turned the key,
and threw open the door.

The Visit to the Cells.

47

Like Uhland's king out of the tower, so
stepped Samuel Heinzerling forth into the
free air of heaven. He drew a deep breath.
Then he passed his right hand over his
forehead, as though in thought.

„Rompf u , he said, „Ai onderstaand a
joke. . . . Bot . . . you waill do mae the
favour, waill you not, not to maimic mae
ain thais waay again? You . . . You make
thae resaemblance too strong!"

„Your wish is law, Sir!"

„Good! And now come down stairs at
once. Ait staill wants a quarter to four.
You caan taake paart ain the laesson yaet. "

„But won't that make them wonder, Sir?
Every one knows you sentenced me to three
days imprisonment."

„Good. Ai waill go waith you."
They hastened together down the stairs.

48

The Visit to the Cells.

„Quaddlaar!" cried the Principal, as he
reached the ground floor.

The Beadle appeared on the lowest step,
and respectfully asked what the master was
pleased to want.

„I have, on vaarious grounds, remaitted
Rompfs thraee days ponishment", said
Samuel.

„Eh .'. .! For that the worshipful Prin-
cipal has returned once more .... Hm ! . . .
But this I must say, that Mr. Rumpf was'nt
at all quiet in his cell. No offence, Sir, but
he scolded like a jackdaw."

„Laet it paass, Quaddlaar. Thais once,
for vaery paarticular reasons, I waill sob-
staitute paardon for ponishment. You caan
taake away the kaey of the cealls."

• Quaddler shook his head wonderingly.

The Visit to the Cells.

49

„Thaat waill do", said Samuel. „And
now come waith mae, Rompf!"

They walked along the corridor to the
class room. The Principal knocked.

„Excuse me, daear colleague", h e whis-
pered, as he entered, in the softest tone
possible to the sonorous dignity of his organ,
„ Ai haave brought Rompf back ! Enebel ! . . .
You waill allow mae, daear Dr. Klufen-
brecher . . . ? Knebel ! wraite ain the daay
book, that ain consaequence of Rompf s
sincaerely repaentent behaeviour, Ai was
moved, at the aend of the fairst hour, to
remait hais sentaence of aimpraisonment.
Thaat waill do! Ai waill not daistorb you
forther, raespected colleague. . . . Haave
you wraitten, Knebel? ... to remait hais
sentaence of aimpraisonment • . ."

They walked along the corridor to the class

>s^

The Visit to the Cells.

51

„Will you not take your place , Mr.
Principal ?" asked the courteous mathe-
matical master.

„ Thank you, thank you moch. Ai
haave saat long enough for todaay. . . .
Rompf, Ai trost thaat thae promaise of ap-
provement ain you waill bae ain all raespects
abondantly folfilled. Adieu, daear colleague."
He spoke and vanished among the laby-
rinth like passages of the school buildings.

William Eumpf faithfully kept his

promise. From henceforth he imitated only
the other masters. Samuel Heinzerling's
sacred peculiarities were for him holy and
inviolable-
He preserved, also, an unbroken silence,
until the Principal, during the autumn of
the same year was, by repeated request,
placed upon the retired list. Then,^ for the
first time, did the exulting upper class hear

the truth concerning that unexpected recon-
ciliation.

Rumpfs „sincaere repaentance a was an
endless source of delight to the laughter
loving inhabitants of the town. Among those
who laughed most heartily over the farce
I find the name of the jovial Principal Samuel
Heinzerling, the eminent author of the Latin
school grammar.

• Long may he be spared to tell, over the
foaming glass, how he visited that godless
scamp „Wailliam Bompf" in the cells. . . .
„Rompf", on the other hand, will never

r

forget that beautiful encounter in Quaddler's
jurisdiction, even should he live to be ad old
as Grillparzer.

-o^X&S* - -

Leipzig, printed by J. J. Weber.

-\

THE

VISIT TO THE CELLS,

A humorous tale by

Ernst Eckstein.

Translated from the fifteenth German edition by

Sophie F. J. Veitch.
London O?™) Leipzig,

Provost & Co., Publishers I Job. Friedr. Hartfcnoch

36. Henrietta Sir., Coy. Card. '■ 17. Turnerstrasse

With a ll original iUuatrattonB b y Q. Sundblad.

Opinions of the Press.

(The following are translations of reviews that
have appeared in some of the most renowned German
papers.)

The first requisite in a good humorous tale is
comicality of the situation or characters — the
most perfect style both combined. In Eckstein's
„ Visit to the Cells' 4 this is the case. Not only are
the complications of the story introduced most
comic and diverting, but also the persons who act
the part are brim full of the richest humour. How
Dr. Heinzerling, the Principal of the school, in going
to the Cells to visit Rumpf and bestow upon him
his fatherly admonition, is by the cunning and wit
of the latter, turned from an inquisitor into a pri-
soner himself; how Rumpf then with humorous
magnanimity rescues the much injured preceptorial
dignity of His Reverence by promising to keep in-
violable silence: this is told with such sparkling
wit and at the same time with that refined elegance,
which so well understands to keep within the strictest
bounds of humour, not once overstepping it by
becoming coarse or vulgar. This little sketch will
be a source of thundering laughter to the reader.

[Europa. Nr. 24. 1875.]

„Visit to the Cells" by E. Eckstein, already-
published in the eighth edition at J. F. Hartknoch in
Leipzig and embellished with first rate illustrations,
is a humorous tale equal to any Comedy ever
bitten. [Wiener Presse.]

The comic effect that „The Visit to the Cells"
has, is simply irresistible. [Didaskalla.]

„ Visit to the Cells" is one of the best defined
stories of school life, full of splendid vivacity and
irresistible humour. [Karlsbader Zeitung.]

„The Visit to the Cells" is the best humorous
tale written within the last twenty years.

[Allg. Literari8cher Wochenbericht.]

„The Visit to the Cells" will always be a jewel
of our comic literature. [Sachor-Masoch.]

-$*<£-

f

r

"N

Leipzig, printed by J. J. Weber.

V

J